Loved You Once, Love You Always
by Silverblood198
Summary: It's pretty simple. Boy and girl are best friends and in love with each other. Too scared to admit it. Go through an unforgettable emotional roller coaster that will determine whether they were meant to be or not. Rated T, AH. Please read!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey people! So I finally got my lazy butt to actually write the first chappie of my first story...alright so just a heads up: for now, all flashbacks will be in script form until further notice. **

**Unfortunately, I do not own Twilight :,-( but I do believe I own the plot. **

**A little background info: Bella is 17 years old and she's in the 11th grade. Her best friend, Edward, is 19 and in his first year of college. Bella has four other friends that she hangs out with: Alice and Rosalie, who're 18, and Emmet (Rosalie's boyfriend) and Jasper (Alice's boyfriend), who're both 19. The girls are juniors and the boys are seniors. Charlie is her dad, obviously, and Renee is (was?) her mother.**

**Ok I know that this won't be a very good story, but hopefully it'll improve as I continue writing:D...criticism is always welcome! So *takes a deep breath* here goes: **

**BPOV**

_Rat-tat-tat._

The rain was falling hard against the roof of my car while I drove home from school, my happy smile fading away. Time to go the place I call my home. I smiled again to myself, bitterly this time. Home. The word implies warmth, security, and someone who cares about you. Clearly not the right word.

I have a dad who couldn't care less about me, an abusive alcoholic. Charlie's been like that ever since Renee, my mother, disappeared. He used to be the epitome of a perfect dad. Always tucked me in at night, kissed my forehead before school, took me to the zoo among other places...that all changed in the blink of an eye when I was 11, six long years ago. Charlie Swan now spent his days at the poor excuse of a bar, the only one in the tiny town of Forks that I currently live in. He always came home drunk. Angry. If I was lucky, I'd do everything I'm supposed to do: clean the house, make sure his dinner is ready, and not make a sound. If I was lucky, he wouldn't hit me when he came home. Hell, if I was lucky, he wouldn't come home period. But, unfortunately for me, luck isn't on my side. It never is.

As I pulled up in the driveway of my house, I sighed in relief. Charlie's car wasn't here. Meaning I'd have time to pack my things and run. I was drawn to my thoughts of the events that occurred earlier today at school. The thing that kept me grinning like an idiot until now.

***Flashback***

*******In the cafeteria***

****Alice: So, how are things going with Edward? *wiggles eyebrows suggestively*

Bella: *sighs* Same as always.

Alice: Bella, when are you going to tell him about your feelings? Why are you both being so stubborn?

Bella: Both? Alice, you see what you want to see. Edward doesn't...feel that way about me. Why can't you accept that?

***Rosalie, Emmet, and Jasper walk over and sit at the table***

****Rosalie: Hey girls, what did I miss? Anything interesting?

Bella: Nope, nothing at all. *steps on Alice's foot*

Alice: *jumps slightly and glares at me, turns to Rosalie and mouths 'Edward'*

Rosalie: *smirks, mouths 'why am I not surprised'*

Emmet: Hey, I saw that! Care to explain why Edward happens to be a common subject of gossip between you girls?

Jasper: Edward?

Bella: *blushes* It's nothing.

Jasper: Doesn't look like 'nothing'.

Rosalie: *whispers to me* Just tell them. They're our friends, too. And Emmet's my boyfriend.

Bella: *shoots her a look and whispers* Your boyfriend happens to have the biggest mouth ever.

Alice: Come on, Bella!

Jasper: Yeah, come on, Bella!

Alice: *sticks her tongue out at him*

Bella: *takes a deep, nervous breath, glances at Rose and Alice*

Rosalie and Alice: *nod*

Bella: *exhales, looks down and starts playing with her napkin*Err...so...um...I...aminlovewithEdward.

Emmet and Jasper: *look at her blankly*

Rosalie and Alice: *giggle*

Bella: *blushes again* I love Edward, okay?

Jasper: Okaaaaay...?

Bella: *stares at him* What do you mean 'okay'?

Emmet: Pfft, that's old news! You just realized you loved him?

Bella: *dumbfounded* What the hell?

Jasper: It's pretty obvious you're in love with him. It always has been. Everyone knows.

Bella: *sits back* Huh. *phone buzzes*

Rosalie: Who is that?

Bella: *has a silly smile on her face*

Jasper: I think I know who!

***Everyone laughs***

Bella: *rolls eyes* Shut up, guys. *gets up and walks outside, checks message*

_Edward: Hey Bells._

_Bella: Hey..wassup?_

_Edward: Nm, how's skool?_

_Bella: Ok, I guess_

_Edward: Why do I get the feeling there's a 'but'?_

_Bella: Well.._

_Edward: Mhm...?_

_Bella: It'd be a lot better if u were here..._

__Bella: *instantly regrets sending that, scared of Edward's reaction*

_Edward: Aww, I feel so special! ;D_

_Bella: Keep telling yourself that, Eddie._

_Edward: You're so funny._

_Bella: Ikr :P hey can u call? I have to tell you something_

_Edward: M'kay, one sec_

__Edward: *calls Bella*

Bella: Hey

Edward: Hey. So, what's up?

Bella: Umm...I'm leaving...tonight.

Edward: Leaving? As in, you're leaving the asshole that hurts you?

Bella: *sigh* Yeah...

Edward: *hears the reluctance in her voice* You okay?

Bella: Mhm, I'm just wondering where I'm gonna go...

Edward: Hmm...hey, how about you drop by after school when you're finished packing and everything...wait, do you need help?

Bella: Nah, it's fine, I don't own much anyway...the little amount of money I make goes toward food...as you know, my dad prefers not to share his money so I can't really buy anything...

Edward:*gets furious just thinking about Charlie, but reigns himself in* Alright, so you'll come over?

Bella: Sure, I'd love to!

Edward:*laughs at her enthusiasm*

***Bell rings***

Edward: You have to go?

Bella:*laughs* Yeah, I'll see you after school!

Edward:*smiles* See ya. Have fun in Trig!

Bella:*groans*Shut _up._ Anyway, I'll be late.

Edward: Bye.

Bella: Bye. *hangs up*

***Flashback ends***

I opened the door to my bedroom, got in, and closed the door again. I looked around and felt...I don't know. Relief? Sadness? Anger? Emptiness? My emotions are jumbled up, I can't figure them out. My room looks so plain, it always has. My mom never liked it, but she always said that my comfort and happiness was all that mattered. Not anymore.

I shook my head and pulled out my two suitcases, stuffing everything I owned in there. I put my keys and phone on the bedside table and brought my suitcases down to my car.

After they were in, I went back to my room and took my things, walking around and touching everything, the blue walls, the small twin bed with the navy sheets, the bedside table, the lamp, the clothes' chest, the dresser...what was left of my childhood. What I was leaving behind. The teddy bear my mom gave me for my third birthday caught my eye. Oops, almost forgot it. I snatched it from its place buried in between my pillows and hugged it close to my chest. I sniffed its comforting smell and felt my eyes fill. I felt like my mom's perfume still lingered on the bear, even though it's been so long...

I let out the breath I didn't know I'd been holding and made my decision. I will do everything in my power to forget all the bad memories, remember the good, leave my old life behind. I walked out of the house and got into my car with my head held high, a determined expression on my face, not once looking back as I drove away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so thank you SO much for reviewing, lizzieee! First reviews are always amazing! Hopefully, I can get more as the story progresses...however, I will not post any chapters after this one unless I get at least 3 reviews! **

**Anyway, I feel like the first chapter was kinda...rushed, maybe? Opinions, please! By the way, there WILL be more details and not everything was revealed in the first chappie. Also, I changed my mind about the whole script form for the flashbacks!**

**Twilight=Not mine :,-(**

**BPOV**

Ugh, the rain is still falling so hard I can barely see anything. Good thing I know the way to Edward's house memorized, thank God. Otherwise, I'd probably end up in Port Angeles with this kind of weather.

Thunder rumbled in the distance, causing me to shiver. I hate, hate, HATE thunderstorms! They've always scared me since I was little.

***Flashback***

Lightning flashed outside, lighting up the room, and I jumped up and ran to my parents' room across the hall. I opened the door quietly and closed it after stepping in. I tiptoed to the foot of their bed and looked at them. Mama and Daddy slept facing each other, their hands intertwined between them. I sighed happily. I love my parents and they love me.

Another flash of lightning and roll of thunder made me jump and scramble between my parents under the blankets. My parents stirred and Daddy grumbled. He shook his head and rubbed his hands over his face.

"Bells, what are you doing? Your feet are freezing!" he said with a sigh. He began tickling my sides, making me giggle and shriek. Mama laughed sleepily and swatted Daddy's hands away.

"Leave my baby alone, Charlie!" she exclaimed and Daddy grinned. I frowned at her.

"Mama, I'm not a baby, I'm six years old!" I told her indignantly. She smiled adoringly and pulled me to her, stroking my hair.

"No matter how old you get, you"ll always be my little baby," Mama said, kissing my nose. I turned to Daddy.

"And Daddy, I'm scared of thunderstorms, remember?" he smiled at me with the same loving expression on his face as Mama.

"Oh yes, how could I forget?" he said in an exaggerated tone. I gave him a toothy smile. Daddy put his arms around me and Mama, and hugged us tightly.

"Okay, it's time for my two favorite girls to go to sleep now," he said authoritatively. I poked him in the ribs.

"It's time for you to go to sleep, too, Daddy," I told him sternly. He laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, me too," he said. "Goodnight, all!"

"Goodnight!" me and my mom said together, giggling. I closed my eyes and, satisfied in the warm cocoon that was my parents, drifted off into sleep.

***Flashback Ends***

My little trip down memory lane was interrupted when I heard my phone ring with that one song that always plays whenever Edward calls. An involuntary smile spread across my face.

_You're on the phone with your girlfriend ‒ she's upset,  
She's going off about something that you said  
'Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do._

I'm in the room ‒ it's a typical Tuesday night.  
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like.  
She'll never know your story like I do.

But she wears short skirts  
I wear t-shirts  
She's cheer captain  
And I'm on the bleachers  
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find  
That what you're looking for has been here the whole time.

If you could see  
That I'm the one  
Who understands you.  
Been here all along.  
So, why can't you see ‒  
You belong with me,  
You belong with me?

Yeah, yeah, Edward doesn't have a girlfriend and I like dressing up WHEN I can afford it, but still, I find that song fitting somehow. I picked up the phone and put it to my ear.

"Yellow?" I said.

"Bananas!" Edward yelled on the other end. I rolled my eyes. Goofball.

"Very mature, Edward," I giggled.

"Yep, very manly," he said in a serious tone. "You outta school yet?" I glanced at the clock on the dashboard, which read **4:23 pm**.

"Um, yeah, like two hours ago! Do you not remember high school, old man? We get out at 2:30!"

"Excuse me, I am NOT old! I will not condone these kind of insults, Ms. Swan!" he said, chuckling. I was cracking up, causing me to swerve and almost hit a tree.

"You sound like Mr. Banner and you are most definitely old, Mr. Cullen," I replied. "And stop making me laugh, I almost hit a tree and died!"

"Oh, _no,_ Ms. Swan, that just won't do. We can't have such a pretty girl die at such a young age! No, this won't do at all," Edward said in a British accent.

"You know, that sounded really cool with that accent."

"Hey, I _am _cool. Therefore, I can make anything sound cool with my kick-ass voice," he said haughtily. "And why aren't you here yet?"

"I'm pulling up in your driveway," I said, hanging up and doing just that. Edward's house was HUGE. He lived in the outskirts of Forks, in the middle of the woods. Well, okay, that's pushing it, but there are a lot of trees around his house and there's only one of its kind. His parents had it custom-made for him before they went to Phoenix, Arizona. His dad, Carlisle, was a doctor and had gotten a really good job there, so he and Edward's mom, Esme, moved there last year. Edward himself didn't want to move because he'd gotten accepted to the University of Washington. Why he didn't move closer to the university is beyond me. He says that he didn't want to leave me _(sigh), _and that he grew up in Forks and wanted to stay near his home town.

I parked and ran out of my car, desperate to avoid getting wet, my arms above my head. I hurried up the stairs of his porch and, just as I was about to ring the doorbell (I was too cold and wet to open the door with my spare key that he gave me when he got the house), the door opened and there he was. Edward stood in the doorway grinning at me, his bronze hair tousled as always and emerald eyes sparkling. He was currently wearing a fitted black T-shirt and sweatpants with socks. He was holding two towels in one hand and reaching toward me with the other. Edward pulled me inside and wrapped one towel around me and the other around my hair. He shut the door and, putting a warm and toned arm around me, he began walking up the stairs.

"Why'd you hang up on me?" he asked with a pout as we walked to his bathroom. I smiled up at him while my teeth chattered.

"What was the point? I was gonna see you in like 3 seconds anyway," I replied.

"Still..." he whined. Ugh, that damn pout, it made me want to pull his face to mine and kiss his perfectly kissable lips. We reached the bathroom, and he picked me up and sat me on the sink.

"Where are your bags and stuff?" Edward asked.

"Umm, in my car..."

"M'kay, I'm gonna go get one of my T-shirts and sweatpants, so you can change into dry clothes, plus, I still have a few of your things that you always forget here. You can take a long, hot shower while I go get them and I'll just put them on the bed of your room, okay?" I nodded gratefully, and he smiled at me and walked out. This huge bathroom was connected to Edward's room and another room, which I usually took when I slept over. There are two sinks connected, a large shower and an enormous jacuzzi, both of which can fit 5 people each. the toilet is on the other side of the shower and there's a 5 feet long couch/bench thing. Well, it's like a bench with cushions- a couch/bench (**haha**).

I took all my dripping clothes and stepped in the shower, turning the hot water up on high.

When I was done, I wrapped a fluffy white towel around my body and wrapped my hair in one, too. I stared at my reflection in the large mirror above the sinks. I have dull brown eyes and wavy brown hair that has no _shine._ My ivory skin looks very pale and I have dark rings under my eyes. I have subtle curves, which I'm thankful for, but they can only be seen if I wear tight jeans and a tighter shirt. I'm 5'4", which is a whole foot shorter than Edward. All in all, I'm very plain. Not really ugly, just...plain. Too plain. Most definitely NOT beautiful enough for Edward. I can't see him with anyone less than a movie star.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and padded across the bathroom to my room. The clothes were on the bed as promised. Edward's plain white T-shirt and gray hoodie were there, along with black sweatpants. I blushed when I saw a matching pair of midnight blue bra and underwear. Huh, don't remember leaving _that _here.

I put on all the clothes and sat on the bed, inhaling deeply. Mmmmmm. Edward's amazing scent was all over the hoodie, wrapping around me like an invisible pair of arms.

I heard a soft knock on the door.

"You done yet, Bells?" Edward called softly. I bounded over to the door and opened it, smiling at him.

"Yup!" He looked at me with the strangest expression on his face but it was gone before I could tell what it was.

"Very cute," he said, hugging me. I hugged him back tightly, trying to convey how thankful I am to him for everything. When we pulled away, he had a knowing smile on his face. Message sent.

"Come one," Edward said."I ordered you favorite."

"Chinese takeout?" I asked, bouncing up and down in excitement. He laughed.

"Chinese takeout," he replied. I tugged on his hand dragging him down to the kitchen. He chuckled at my enthusiasm and I stuck my tongue out at him.

"I'm _hungry,_ okay?" As if to prove my point, my stomach rumbled really loudly. I looked at Edward and we both burst out laughing again. When we got to the kitchen, I didn't see any of that delicious Chinese takeout he'd been taunting me with. I glared at Edward and he put his hands up.

"It's in the living room!" I smiled sweetly at him. Much better. I turned around and dragged him to the living room and, oh my dear Lord, that amazing food was sitting right there on the table next to the couch. I was FAMISHED. I quickly sat Edward down on the couch and plopped down beside him, taking the food out as my mouth watered. Yummy.

I began stuffing my mouth with food, burning my mouth in the process. I looked up at Edward to see him staring at me with an amused expression on his face. I felt my face turning hot as I blushed and he laughed. How embarrassing!

"Woah, you really are hungry, aren't you?" he said, chuckling.

"Shut up! The school lunch sucked, okay?" I said, raising my chin. Edward rolled his eyes.

"M'kay, if you say so," he said with a shrug. He turned to his food and began stuffing HIS mouth now, making me giggle. We chatted and joked throughout the entire meal. I felt so relaxed and happy with Edward. It felt so _natural_, so _right, _hanging out like this with him. I glanced at the clock and was shocked to see it was already **9:15**!

"Wow, it's late," I remarked. Edward gave me a playful look.

"That's because SOMEONE took forever in the shower!" he said.

"Hey, I was enjoying myself! That was the best shower I've had in a LONG time!" my smile faded and my gaze slipped to my hands folded in my lap. It was so quiet all of a sudden. Way to go, Bella. Make it a hell of a lot more awkward than it needs to be. I felt Edward's finger under my chin, gently coaxing my face up so he can see my face.

"Hey," he whispered. My eyes began to fill with tears.

"Sorry, I...I was..I..."

"Bells, I didn't mean anything by it, I was just teasing you," he said softly, stroking my cheek gently. The stupid tears fell on my cheeks and I hastily tried to wipe them off. Edward took both of my hands in his and pulled me to his chest, hugging me tightly. I cried into his shoulder. Oh, my God. I am SUCH a baby! Jeez, I started crying over the tiniest thing! Damn tear ducts have the _worst _timing!

Edward rubbed my back reassuringly and I was able to calm down and slump against his chest.

"I'm sorry, Edward,"I said in a muffled tone with my face in his shoulder. I felt him shake his head since his chin was resting at the top my head.

"No, Bella, it's not your fault. I was being careless. I'm sorry." I giggled softly and looked up at him with a watery half-smile.

"Then I guess we should just agree to disagree?" He smiled at me and wiped the rest of my tears away with his thumbs.

"I guess so," Edward replied, kissing my forehead. "You done with your food?"

"Yeah," I got up and picked up the trash and the leftovers and took them to the kitchen. I shut my eyes and leaned back against the couch, exhausted from my little crying jag. My head was beginning to pound like it always does whenever I cry. I felt the couch beside me sink as Edward sat next to me again. He pushed my hair out of my face and kissed my forehead again. I opened my eyes and saw him smiling at me with two fortune cookies in his hand.

"We forgot the best part of the food!" Edward exclaimed and I laughed. He handed me one and opened his. We both fed each other our own cookies like we always do and waited until we were finished to open our fortunes.

"You first," I told him. He complied, reading his fortune out loud.

"_Your true love will reveal herself to you under the moonlight_," he said. My heart sank. Meaning she hasn't been revealed yet. Meaning I definitely didn't stand a chance. Edward cleared his throat and looked at me.

"Your turn," he said. I slowly opened mine and read it aloud.

"_You only need to look at your own reflection for inspiration, because you are beautiful_," I snorted. Yeah, right. Me, beautiful? Hilarious!

"Very fitting," Edward said, his eyes smiling at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Funny," I said.

"It's true, you're VERY beautiful, _darling!_" he said with a weird Effie Trinket accent.

"Mhm, whatever."

"So...you wanna watch a movie or do you want to sleep?"

"Umm, _can _I stay here for the night?" I asked Edward. He frowned at me.

"Well, DUH! You're not only staying tonight, but are officially _living _here," he said with a satisfied smile. I blinked at him. STAY with him? Did he just tell me to LIVE with him? Like, me and Edward? In the same house? LIVING together?

He saw my expression and rolled his eyes, annoyed.

"What, did you expect me to let you live in some apartment ALONE?" he asked incredulously. I shrugged.

"I don't know, but I certainly didn't expect to..." I waved my hand at him. "You know..._live _with you."

"Well, you are, so don't bother complaining," he told me.

"Fine...so, are we watching a movie or not?" I asked. No use trying trying to convince Edward when he's being stubborn.

"Yeah, go brush your teeth and stuff, just in case we fall asleep," he said.

"Okay," I said, getting up. He got up, too.

"I'll do that, too, and give me your keys. I'm going to go get your stuff from your car and put it in your room," he told me, putting on his jacket. I reached into my pocket and handed him my keys, and walked back up to the bathroom.

When I came back down to the living room, Edward was already going through his many movies, trying to decide what to watch. I walked over and leaned down to his ear.

"Let's watch the Lion King!" I shouted in his ear. He yelled and jumped up, whirling around and glaring at me. I fell on the floor laughing, my stomach hurting and tears streaming down my cheeks.

"HAHA, OH MY GOD YOUR FACE!" I hollered, cracking up so hard I couldn't breathe. Edward sniffed.

"Glad you find it so amusing," he snapped, obviously miffed. I stopped laughing and wiped my tears away, and wrapped my arms around his stiff body. His face was pink. Oh, my God. I made THE Edward Cullen BLUSH! Now I just felt really bad. I hate embarrassing myself, but he is just adorable. I rubbed his back and looked up at him, kissing his cheek.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to him with a hint of a smile left on my face. "I didn't mean to embarrass you, I was just playing around, honest." He relaxed and hugged me back.

"You scared the living daylights out of me, Bells," he muttered, still embarrassed.

"I know, I'm sorry," I said earnestly. I got it. I really did. I hate making a fool out of mysekf and having someone laugh like that. Guilt coursed through me. Edward must have seen it in my face, because he smiled at me and shook his head.

"That wasn't a big deal, Bells. I'm a big boy," he said with a crooked smile. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Yeah, yeah, big boy. Can we watch the Lion King? Pretty please?" I pouted and looked up at him through my eyelashes.

"Okay," he said, letting go of me. I missed the contact immediately, but I went and sat on the couch again while he put in the movie. Edward came and sat beside me as the movie started, putting his arm casually around my shoulders. I snuggled into his side as we watched the movie. It was one of my favorite movies from my childhood. We both laughed throughout the entire movie. My favorite part came on and we literally began rolling on the floor laughing.

_Pumba: "That's out motto!"_

_Simba: "What's a motto?"_

_Timone: "Nothing, what's the motto with you?"_

After that, I began to feel extremely sleepy. My eyelids began to droop and, as I sighed into Edward's chest, I drifted off into the world of dreams.

**Soooooo, how'd you like it? I made this chapter longer than the other one, just because. I'll try to put up more chapters, but not until I get at least 3 reviews! Please, please, PLEASE hit the review button!**

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	3. AN

**Hey, guys! I know I haven't updated for awhile, but now that finally logged on, I need advice. The original plan was to type the third chapter in Edward's POV, but now that I've read over the second chapter and the reviews, I found that Edward really sounds gay...NOT what I was going for. Should I type the next few chappies from Bella's POV until I figure out how to make Edward sound like Edward, or should the next one be in his POV?**


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